Breast Cancer Isn't Just a Month For Me
So, we meet again. Sometimes it feels like I pay my domain and management fees just for funsies, but today I have a word. As everyone knows, October is breast cancer awareness month, and if you read this blog, you know I was diagnosed at the end of 2019. Since I decided to become public with my diagnosis, without fail, when October comes, I’m bombarded with requests to speak about my journey or to be someone’s human interest story or to give suggestions of what a company should do for the month in terms of a marketing plan. Some things I’m okay with, but most things I’m not. Breast Cancer isn’t just October for me. It’s everyday of my life since late October 2019 when I went from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what was the lump I had felt for a while.
Last October when people reached out, I accepted one opportunity to speak because it was Instagram only and I felt safe there with a smaller following, but back then I was still in the thick of it, and people reaching out seemed super insensitive to me when I was still undergoing treatment. It feels even weirder now when people ask if I’m good now - and don’t really care to hear any answer besides yes - before launching into their request. I’m not some commodity to reach out to one month a year to put a face to some story that you work on for a day or two then never think about again until the next October. Or maybe not, maybe after I say yes, people will move on to the next survivor or patient since 300-500 women are diagnosed in The Bahamas every year.
It’s so insane to me that we have such a high prevalence of breast cancer in the country, meaning someone has to know at least one woman who has been affected, and yet, most of the marketing material and stories (in my very humble opinion) are so out of touch. Many of the stories only want to highlight women who are on the other side or have this super hopeful, super encouraging story. That is not the reality for many women. Many women suffer emotionally for years and years after a diagnosis. Many women undergo treatment for years. Many women do not go to this magical other side where everything is pink and pretty and they “are good now.” Yes there are good days, hopeful days, but there are also many dark days. I’m not even a scare tactic person when it comes to telling the story of breast cancer, but trust me everything isn’t pink and pretty.
And the stories are only the beginning. Every October rolls around and the pink washing is absolutely insane. And don’t get me wrong, I love pink. Pink is literally my favorite color. When I was diagnosed, 80% of the clothing I bought in 2020 was pink. I bought pink blankets, shoes, socks, more pink lipstick, pink onesies, anything that was pink, I had to have it. However, if a company isn’t making a donation to either a cancer survivor, a current cancer patient or some sort of cancer organization, I don’t want to see your pink sales. It’s disingenuous at the least and disgusting at worst.
On Instagram especially, I’m constantly bombarded with ads for “pink sales” in honor or breast cancer and I really don’t know how pink lipstick, pink clothes, pink charcuterie boards, pink alcoholic beverages, etc with no donation (in fine print or otherwise) will either raise awareness or make someone who has suffered feel any better if they have to pay this sale price just as anyone else. Furthermore, people are aware. It is time for action, by either donating the products or services you sell to patients or survivors or donating cold hard cash. I wouldn’t even be as mad if there was something like for every purchase of this pink product we’ll give one to a woman that is going through or has been through breast cancer for free. But nope, nothing but a money grab.
People push these pink sales every October, or push a woman to speak with absolutely no consideration of her mental space, her current health status, her willingness, or anything else. Speaking for myself, October is actually very hard, you’re seeing sales and marketing plans that are weird, have nothing to actually do with the women and absolutely grotesque on one end, and people sharing scary statistics about breast cancer, pictures of their radiation burns and reconstruction or their sick face on the other end of things. Both can be very triggering for me at times and I have to scroll past or I’ll get mad on one end or scared and sad on the other.
Breast cancer isn’t just October for me. It is every second of everyday. It is the morning when I take my pills, it’s when I decide what to eat for breakfast or lunch or dinner. It is when I look in the mirror and I’m no longer comfortable in my body. It’s when I think about dating again and I’m scared to because I think a man won’t want to deal with that. It’s when I go to workout and can’t do some of the moves because of surgery scars or because my energy is trash. It’s when I have to think about something much longer than normal because chemo brain is real and I just can’t understand or wrap my brain around it. It’s when I’m in the shower crying after seeing my new body. It’s every single time everyone asks “you good now” with literal fear in their eyes. It’s every doctor appointment - of which there are many. It’s me tweeting that I don’t want to talk about breast cancer and people getting personally offended because they know they come to me all the time about it. It’s literally all the time. So please, forgive me if I don’t want to see bullshit breast cancer awareness sales. Or be in a news story when people will watch it for maybe 2-5 minutes and never think about what my day to day life is like or offer any type of support.
For you, after October you can move on with your life. For me, this is my life.
